7 steps for reframing a negative outlook

We’ve seemingly moved on from the COVID-19 pandemic, but one of the things that has lingered is issues with our collective mental health. It’s no wonder, either. Extended isolation, illness, grief, and financial insecurity have caused high numbers of people to experience continued anxiety and depression.

Plus, we as humans are hard-wired to respond more to negativity than to positivity. Known as “negative bias,” humans have long been more responsive to the bad, because long ago, those negative threats warned us about life-or-death situations. But today, those negative warnings tend to overstimulate us and while normal, they can hinder personal growth.

If you’ve found yourself in a cycle of negative thinking, it’s possible to pull yourself out of it. All it takes is a bit of focus and reframing the way you look at what’s happening. Use the following 7 steps to help you change that outlook.

Negative feelings alert us of dangers that exist, and it’s good to be aware of those feelings and validate what they are telling you. You may have negativity associated with feedback you received during an annual review. Or maybe a friend or family member made an off-hand comment that hit you particularly hard. It could even be the stress involved with paying bills. Be aware of when and why you’re feeling that negativity. Remind yourself that these feelings are normal. And from there, when you begin to understand why you’re feeling that way, you can begin the task of reframing that negativity.

Once you understand what’s setting you off, it’s time to learn from those emotions. Research shows it’s healthy to confront that negativity. In fact, the more you do that and look for learnings from what you perceive to be failures, the more it contributes to a growth mindset. Those learnings can help you make progress in your life, find ways to advocate for yourself, and stretch yourself into a more positive place.

Once you’ve begun looking at your negativity differently, it’s time to challenge those thoughts by focusing on the positive. Positive thinking has numerous health benefits, such as a higher quality of life, better social relationships, and it leads to fewer chronic illnesses. However, that’s not the only benefit of thinking positively. It can completely change who we are in a way that’s meaningful. Remind yourself when you’re giving into that negative thinking that you’re human. And practice gratitude for the things that you have. This will go a long way toward reframing that negative outlook.

If you’re still struggling with negative emotions, it may be time to seek out some of your biggest cheerleaders. Work colleagues and mentors with whom you’ve established good working relationships can provide you with honest, beneficial feedback that can give you an alternative way of thinking about your issues. The key is to focus on building a relationship that is filled with trust, honesty, and respect. From there, ask for critical feedback to see what you might be missing. They can often give you perspectives you may have missed when you were buried in the weeds.

One of the simplest ways to begin reframing negativity is to go out of your way to show kindness to those around you. That simple mind shift will begin to rewire your brain and will help you move forward with positive intention. You don’t have to do anything major, but buying a stranger a cup of coffee or offering up a compliment to a friend can go a long way toward boosting your mood and helping reframe your thinking.

The people around you aren’t the only ones who deserve kindness. You need to give yourself some compassion as well. Watch for the patterns you’ve started uncovering, and in those moments, cut yourself some slack. Arm yourself with effective responses that feel natural to you, and if necessary, enlist the help of a therapist who can help you break the cycle. You deserve the kindness.

Once you’ve begun identifying your triggers and have found a better way to reframe your thinking, set yourself up for success by creating habits that will help your mental health stay at its peak. Whether it’s running or golfing, reading a book, or cooking, find a place that helps you feel stable and happy. It’s easier to stay positive when you’re feeling your best and checked in to the things that bring you daily joy.

Don’t expect positivity to come overnight if you have had a long experience of negative thinking. It takes daily work and practice to make positive thinking your go-to way of thinking. Be patient and put in the work, though, and it can provide you with a whole new way of experiencing life. And it’s worth it.

Jim Allen is a business leader and entrepreneur who has built one of the top-producing real estate groups in the Triangle. He is President of The Jim Allen Group, which is consistently named one of the top real estate teams in North Carolina and even North America.